After the shoes-and-slippers routine at the entrance, stay standing near the door (the shimoza position) rather than walking further in and sitting down. Wait for your host to gesture toward a seat, or ask “Where should I sit?” if nothing’s said.
If you’re guided to the seat facing the tokonoma alcove or the one farthest from the door, that’s the kamiza, the seat of honor, accept it rather than deflecting to the door-side seat out of modesty, insisting can be its own kind of awkward.
- Don’t treat the tokonoma alcove as a shelf or a place to set a bag — it’s display space for a scroll or flower arrangement, and its presence is what marks the seat in front of it as the room’s most honored spot.
- This hierarchy carries over into taxis, elevators, and meeting rooms too — the same kamiza/shimoza logic decides who sits or stands where in a business setting, not just at someone’s home.