When you pay respects at a Filipino wake or funeral, a cash contribution to the family is the customary gesture, offered quietly and usually in an envelope or a small amount handed directly to the bereaved. It’s not “tacky” to give money here as it can feel in some other cultures — it’s a needed, expected form of support.
If you’re unsure of the amount, give what’s comfortable for your relationship; a modest contribution is always appreciated and never judged. Wear black or somber clothing, and greet the family with a brief, warm word or a simple “nakikiramay po ako” (my deepest condolences).
- The contribution is called abuloy, and many wakes keep a contribution box beside the guest book near the coffin; flowers are welcome too, but money is the more direct, useful form of support.
- A wake is also a social affair — it’s normal for visitors to stay, talk, and share food while the body is laid out; this is how the community carries the family.